Giving back

Wherever you live there are opportunities to become involved in helping your community. Our community here in CostaRica is no exception. My current project is working with a group of local residents to plan and host a fundraising event, called Books and Barks, to benefit two organizations that consistently improve the community here – Abriendo Mentes  & Costa Rica Pet Care.

Our party will be held June 21. A local restaurant, Oasis, is donating the whole restaurant and kitchen. Many, many businesses – from restaurants, resorts, and bars, to markets, ice suppliers, and musicians – are donating food, drinks, supplies, and musical entertainment. It should be a very fun event with 4 bands confirmed. We have a core team of local folks headed by our fearless local yoga instructor, who are planning, coordinating volunteers, advertising, selling tickets, and procuring. Fortunately, I have our fabulous UCoop school auctions to look to for models of how to run very fun and successful fundraising events.

Here is a little bit about our awesome local organizations/funding beneficiaries:

Abriendo Mentes provides a safe, constructive, and vibrant place for children to go after school where they learn invaluable computer and English language skills. The local economy has shifted from agriculture and fishing to tourism jobs, leading to roughly 40% unemployment. The regional state elementary schools operate only about 3 hours per day for 85 days per year and only about 13% graduate from high school. Abriendo Mentes provides a foundation that prepares local children to one day become successful, economically stable adults.

Costa Rica Pet Care has been working tirelessly for 12 years to help our local pets. And by Costa Rica Pet Care, I largely mean the founder, Dawn. Her work includes sterilizing over roughly 12,500 dogs and cats. Dawn coordinates with veterinarians all over Costa Rica who donate their services for 1 weekend per month doing spay and neuter clinics. She tirelessly drives through the rural regions, finding sick and injured animals and provides medical care for these animals. This work helps to keep diseases from spreading at alarming rates through the community.

Dawn

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Some before and after medical care photos:

 

Spay and neuter clinic photos

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I know that most of you reading this blog don’t live here and cannot attend our fabulous fundraising fiesta. However, I do hope that you would consider helping by donating a few dollars (via PayPal) through the link below. Any money you send will be split equally between the two organizations. A little bit goes a long way.

  • $10 can provide deworming or distemper shot
  • $25 can provide 1 year of school supplies for a child OR feed a dog for a month
  • $30 can spay or neuter 2 pets
  • $50 provides art materials for a month of creative projects
  • $100 funds ESL and technology education for one child for a whole year
  • $500 can provide a (much needed) computer for the lab

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Guanacaste Literacy Inc, (DBA: Abriendo Mentes) is a 501(c)3 organization in the state of Texas. Tax ID: 27-1427847 Address: 3310 Crosspark Lane, Houston, TX  77007          

 

 

 

 

Homecoming

It has been almost 6 months since we began our new adventure. This last week Vie and I travelled back to Seattle so that Vie and some friends could attend Sakura-Con, a large anime convention in Seattle. It was my first time back to Seattle in a while and I thought I’d share some thoughts.

We arrived on a Friday and I immediately sent Vie to Utah to meet up with friends for a few days. A few of them would be coming back with Vie to Sakura-Con, but that gave me a few days on my own in Seattle. Fortunately, several good friends took me in for little mini-stays!

Everyone I’ve seen has asked me what it is like. Some things are the same and some are different as you might expect, Just going through the airport to the taxis was very familiar for example. I had travelled so much that this actually felt very comfortable. It really didn’t hit me that I was in Seattle after an extended time.

It was very strange wearing shoes and pants. I hadn’t done that in months. Of course, I had several long hours on the plane and a long layover in Miami to get used to those. At least, I saw a welcome site in Miami!

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Haagen Dazs in Miami

I immediately welcomed the sun in Seattle. I expected rain and cold (and I did get it a few days), but the weather was gorgeous when we arrived. It was about 50 degrees colder to be sure, but the sun made up for it. It will sound strange, but the sun in Seattle when it is out feels stronger and more intense than Costa Rica, despite temperatures there in the high 90’s. I love that intensity. It’s as if the sun, when out, wants to make up for lost time. I can be warm in Seattle in any temperature if I am in the sun.

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The sun in the yard of our house

Unfortunately, not all my time was in the sun, even when it was outside. I was constantly cold everywhere, even with layers. In Costa Rica, I had gotten used to taking a cold shower or a dip in the pool to cool off. It felt refreshing stepping back into the heat. Here, I quickly remembered at a visceral body level that you take showers to warm up and then immediately feel cold when you get out.

It did rain a few days before it got sunny again. The rain came just in time for soccer 🙂 One nice thing though about the rain here in Seattle is that you get stunning rainbows:

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Rainbow over downtown

I have yet to see a rainbow in Costa Rica. Given what I said about the sun, even if I do, I bet they won’t compare to Seattle.

The traffic here was another unexpected surprise. I drove in this traffic for a lot of years, but I quickly got used to two lane roads everywhere in Costa Rica, even to the capital. Traffic happens when they work on the road or a cow is crossing. I came out of the Seattle airport and immediately hit commuter traffic for an hour. The immensity of it was awesome: 10 lanes of bumper to bumper traffic on I-5 at one point. When I went to pick up Vie and company Thursday evening, I had to leave at 4:30 and it took almost 50 minutes to just hit the freeway. I don’t miss this at all. And the cows are awfully cute to watch – more so than (understandably) grumpy commuters.

I did get to drive our small MINI Cooper Coupe though and that was a welcome change from Mooseand Fanta. It was small, fast, and new. The first thing I did was turn on the heated seats! It’s one advantage to living in a cooler environment. I just wish I had those heated seats while I was sitting in the Convention Center for days!

Watching people here was fun, even before Sakura-Con. Both on the weekend and the weekdays, everyone always seemed to be rushing from somewhere to somewhere. I remember that. In fact, I had a long list of errands and activities myself for the days preceding the conference and I fell back into that rushing pace. I spent a lot of time between errands figuring out how long it would take to get somewhere, etc. It struck me at one point that I never do that in Costa Rica.

I was also pleasantly surprised about the people. I’ve written about how small Playa Flamingo and Playa Potrero are and how we seem to know most folks when we walk in a restaurant or pub. Seattle is a lot bigger of course, but 3 times since I have been here I just happened to bump into someone I knew unexpectedly. Maybe Seattle isn’t so small after all. I had to laugh at one point when I was walking down the street and heard “Hey, I thought you were in Costa Rica!” It was great catching up with those with whom I could, both planned and unexpected. There never seems to be enough time for that. It did make me savor every moment. I knew it would be a good while before I saw the particular person again. With everyone, it really didn’t feel like I had been gone; we picked right up as if I had not.

Eating and drinking was fun. One of the things I was really missing was good, strong, dark, heavy beer – like this:

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Scottish Oil Drum Ale at 74th St. Ale House

I also get a choice of wine here in restaurants beyond (the same) Merlot and Cab, both of which are refrigerated in Costa Rica. I was really looking forward to the food. At times it was absolutely awesome, like the chicken pot pie at the Daily Grill and the mac and cheese at this place in the U-District. At times, it was hideous. Vie and I had inedible pasta the night we stayed at an airport hotel and breakfast at the Best Western Executive Inn was horrible. Breakfast at the Tilikum Café more than made up for it though.

Soccer was a lot of fun but pretty surreal. It’s been about 95 degrees in Costa Rica. The games are pretty slow, actually. There’s a lot of shooting from midfield and short, fancy footwork followed by passing and resting. Here, it was cold and rainy. There was little fancy footwork and lot of running, which I like. It was great playing with my old team, and very comfortable. In Costa Rica, I tend to be the only “gringo” and everyone speaks only Spanish. They are also all men. It was refreshing to play co-ed again. Women make the game more balanced.

Now, about this Convention. Imagine 3000 people, most of whom are dressed up, raging through the convention center. About half seem to be under 21.

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lobby sakuracon

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Sakura-Con

The costumes (“cosplay”) were absolutely incredible. There was eye-candy everywhere. Most were anime-related. I saw armies of folks from Attack on Titan, Homestuck, Pokemon and more. There were a number of video game characters as well, from Super Mario Brothers to some stunning cosplayers from Halo and Borderlands. Super heroes abounded as well just like Comic-Con, but they tended to hang out with much cooler anime characters. I saw a particularly forlorn Thor trying to talk with some very attractive women cosplayers from Hetalia. The poor guy was out of his league on so many levels. I even saw several “bronies.” The best Cosplay I saw? An absolutely perfectly-crafted Master Chief with bunny ears worn by a woman. The workmanship was incredible.

Vie and friends Avery and Kam had several Cosplay costumes – per day. There was day and night attire and even pajamas one night. Sometimes the costume changes were quick, sometimes long, and sometimes painful (one particular cosplay for Vie involved contact lenses – see below). They were are home-made and awesome. The three of them worked months in preparation for this.

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Vie, Kam and Avery at Sakura-Con

Since the teens were over 12, I didn’t have to follow them around as in previous years – at least 15 back of course 🙂 This year, I just had to be in the building. I found a table in the café here where I sat for 10-14 hours a day, not including time when I was wandering around the Con. I saw a ton of costumes I would love to see Deb in, many for sale, but we don’t need more stuffright now. Besides, it’s more fun to make them anyway. Look for Debbie as Cortana on a future Halloween (if I can convince her).

Despite the cold inside the Convention Center (I was shivering Friday night), I had a blast. I got a good start on our Body Defenders video game (more on that soon). I watched a few terrible zombie movies. I know that sounds bad and expected, but if I watch romantic comedies, I usually miss Deb even more. I caught up and leaped ahead in my Spanish on Duolingo. I snuck out a few times for meals close by with friends. I read a book. I wrote two blog posts.

Mostly, though, I had a long period of time to think about things. We Cargiles are very lucky to have an opportunity to live for a year in Costa Rica. Coming back to Seattle reinforces that for me. When people asked if it was what we expected and wanted, I usually said “yes”, and “no.” Both are true at times. It’s the nature of a journey, an adventure where you don’t have the end planned. Where we left with one possibility about returning, we now have many, many more. Getting free from a day to day routine here really makes almost anything seem possible, and that’s a very powerful feeling – one that was harder in coming when we were here working and living on a regular basis.

Who knows what’s next? We have a long time yet to work that out. Meanwhile, even after only 10 days, I am missing many things in Costa Rica, especially Deb. Maybe our nature is to constantly miss what we don’t have. But, I don’t miss pura vida. I think I brought some here. At least, I think I brought the perspective of enjoying every minute with what you have and really appreciating things. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have that to the same degree the last time I was here.

I hope this experience is giving the young adults the chance to experience the change I’m feeling. Change is good. Feeling comfortable with change is priceless. Pura vida!

My First Mistake

It’s inevitable that we’d make mistakes along the way in unschooling in our new adventure. It’s part of the learning process. It’s part of good design thinking and iterative design. It’s how you make something better. You rarely get anything right the first time, after all. Still, knowing all of this, I walked right in on this mistake.

Now, I’m sure it wasn’t really my first mistake; I’m sure I’ve made a bunch along the way. Those were probably so quickly or easily corrected that we didn’t dwell on them. This one was in the end still fairly easy to correct, actually. I still dwell on it though. I think it’s because it never would have happened if I had actually listened to myself…or even read my own blog 🙂

The young adults had just completed their awesome 28 page paper comparing Diablo III and Borderlands. That was a “quest” and a sort of warm-up to unschooling. We were now ready to really dig in and start getting into the meat of unschooling. As I had written before, we had already done our prep work to begin unschooling. I had had Vie and Aidan think about and write down 10 things they were interested in. I was starting with their interests and needs, which were different. We’d build a set of projects from that. This part started well. That’s where the learning from my mistake also started.

I had good intentions. I wanted to provide a bit of daily structure for our young adults in their unschooling path, especially because it was new to all of us. We had decided to try about 4 hours per day as a target for unschooling work. Deb had read that kids on average need only about 2-3 hours per day to cover a traditional daily school curriculum and we figured that if we kept to about 4 hours, we could accomplish all of our goals and the kids would still have more time. I suggested that Vie and Aidan get up at 10 am and be ready to start by 10:30 am. There wasn’t anything magic about 10 am though really. It also happened to be convenient for me and gave me a few hours to get my stuff done and look for inspiring material for them before we started. That should have been a clue.

In comparison, last year, Vie had to be at middle school by 7:30 am and Aidan had to be there by 8:45 am. We knew that teenagers’ body clocks aren’t ready for school at that time (and yet that seems to be when they get a lot of tests). I figured 10 am was a good start. It seemed to work well during their paper quest. I even told them that the time before 10:30 am was theirs to do what they want – sleep, watch videos, etc.

I thought I was doing pretty well until Wednesday this week. We had pretty slow starts on Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday, I got frustrated. I guess it had been building. Vie would get up at 10 but then snooze on the couch until 10:30 am and still be sleepy. Aidan would get up about 9 am and then watch videos until 10:30 am. On Wednesday, I was excited to start but I got a luke-warm reception from both of them. Vie was still sleepy and not really into it and Aidan had been ready for awhile but now got engaged in something else and didn’t really want to switch. I felt like I had to play the role of “unschooling cop”, which I disliked. We were all frustrated.

I felt like I was pushing rope. I’m sure Aidan and Vie felt like they were back in school with lots of rules. No one was happy. With some help from Deb, I realized that I wasn’t following my (our) own intent. And then I had the “aha” moment I needed.

I was trying hard to help Aidan and Vie really drive their own unschooling with their interests. It is one of the core tenets of unschooling. They should be responsible for their learning. My misstep was not taking that all the way to how we structured the days. They are different people with different needs and rhythms and yet I was putting this schedule on them that wasn’t working for either. More importantly, I wasn’t really giving them responsibility for it, as we said we’d do. I wasn’t listening to their needs and I wasn’t iterating when it wasn’t working. I didn’t even think of the 10 am start as a prototype that would not be correct in its first version. The “aha” moment was actually a “duh” moment.

I changed several things after that. Aidan and Vie don’t have to start at the same time. Aidan is usually up earlier and ready to go. He takes more breaks. Vie gets up later but works continuously. I told them they were responsible for their schedule but we still wanted to unschool for an average of about 20 hours per week (4 hours a day or so). They didn’t need to even work the same schedule every day unless they wanted to. The real point was that they have a goal to work toward and that there are many flexible ways to get there.

Things got a lot better. And as a reflection, today Vie, Deb and I had a great conversation about it. Vie volunteers for a few hours Friday through Sunday and mentioned that there really isn’t a day “off” between school and volunteer work. It was a good observation. We all brainstormed ways that Vie could get a “day off”, settling on taking Monday off and unschooling Tuesday-Friday, working a bit more on average each of those days.

As I reflect, this kind of flexible schedule is exactly what I like, and expect, in work. We are fortunate to have worked in the tech industry where this is pretty common – and for good reason. It gives us the opportunity to be at our best. Vie and Aidan should get no less of an opportunity.

I learned a lot from this whole experience. It should have been more obvious and easier to learn, but sometimes the best and most memorable learnings come this way. Just like life. And hopefully for our young adults, they also learned about flexibility and responsibility. Just like life.

Updates

We are settling into our new adventure here in Costa Rica. The bigger things in our lives are underway now, particularly our young adults’ unschooling journey. Amid the nooks and crannies of the last few weeks, we have some more mundane, but fun updates that we wanted to share.

We are now more mobile! We just got four bikes for all of us – three mountain bikes and one beach bike which we call the “grocery bike.” While in Tamarindo, we found a bike shop and got a great deal on them. This is a huge help for us since we had no other transportation and a very limited budget for car rental.

We had been walking everywhere, which is great to an extent. For some context, Surfside, where we live, is very small. It has a few fun bars, a grocery store or two, and a nice beach. Playa Potrero is the closest town. It’s about 20 minutes away and is also a small town. Playa Flamingo is bigger and has a hardware store, bank, rental car place, doctor and pharmacy, etc. It is about a 35 minute walk. Brasilito is about a 50 minute walk and Tamarindo (and surfing) is probably 3-4 hours walking.

The bikes give us convenient access not only to things like groceries but also our growing list of activities, starting with yoga. Deb and I found an amazing class in a huge cabana overlooking the beach. We go several days a week now. It’s not as challenging as P90X but it has its tough spots. We love it. And, well, you can’t beat the view!

I’m really excited about finally finding soccer! There is a pickup game in Playa Potrero Tuesdays and Saturdays. It starts late and ends when you can’t see the ball anymore. I’m the only gringo, though Deb will start going too.

Soccer here, as you might imagine, is very different from the league games we usually play in in Seattle. The group ranges in age from teenagers to someone else in their 50s besides me. Most are in their early 20s or 30s. And there are no women. The play is much more centered around fancy footwork, as you might expect. It is also very hot still late in the day and so this focus keeps the running more minimal. Of course, that’s not how I play. I play more like an American – lots of running and speed, far less on the fancy skills front. I was exhausted at the end of the game (not to mention the long walk home). But, I think I surprised a few of them. It was fun to hear a few whistles (more derision of someone who got “beat” than for the person who did it) when this 52 year old gringo beat several of the 20-somethings to the ball or took it from them and ran. J But, I’m looking at this as a great opportunity to learn the Tico way playing. Did I mention that I don’t miss the cold, freezing rain?

We found a gym in Flamingo so that Vie and I can start working out. Vie wants to start getting more toned. The bikes will make this much easier than the long walk there and back. It will be very hot working out there – so hot that they close from 12-3 every day. It should get us fit fast.

We also found some more hang-outs, each with their specialties. We initially found Maxwell’s and it is still our go-to hangout. It has karaoke Tuesdays, poker on Thursdays (yet to be tried) and the best dollar tacos on Fridays. La Perla, one of the oldest places, has karaoke on Saturdays and that’s a fun time. As an aside, karaoke seems big here. So do country songs (I better get my twang on before I try it). The Shack has really great food and gets local musicians in weekly. Our yoga class also eats breakfast there. It was started by a restaurateur from New York. On Sundays, El Coconut Beach Club has live music and dancing. We don’t go there for the food, though.

One of our most mundane, but fun activities is coming back from doing something hot and sweaty – which is pretty much everything here, including a bike ride to get groceries – and jumping straight into the pool. You can’t imagine how refreshing that is!

We’ve started finding a great rhythm here now. We’ve met a lot of fun people around town too and we see them everywhere (except soccer). It also underscores that Surfside/Playa Potrero is indeed a small town. Everyone knows everyone – and evidently everyone knows everyone’s business.

While we expect that we will mostly bike, we did have a transportation dilemma. Having no car means we can’t surf easily. Our beach really has no waves and isn’t even good for boogie boarding. Tamarindo and Playa Grande on the other hand are two of the best short wave long board surfing spots on the planet. Robert August (famous from Endless Summer) ranks Tamarindo as #1. And, Deb and I have become completely enraptured with surfing after we recently spend a few days learning to surf at the famous Witches Rock Surf Camp.

We have a budget for rental cars, but not enough to surf as frequently as we’d like. The rates also go up from $30/day to $150/a day in high season, December and January. Cars here are ridiculously expensive here – up to twice as expensive. One example: our yoga teacher is selling her 2006 Jeep Cherokee for $13,500. We can’t imagine though living here for a year and not surfing a lot. We love where we are and don’t want to move. Tamarindo is too touristy. What to do? Enter “Moose.”

Now everyone knows that if you find a dog (or rabbit, bird, etc.) that has no home, don’t name it. It is a sure sign you are going to keep it. Well, it works for cars too, evidently.

We found a car that looks like it belongs in the jungle, and that it’s been driving in the jungle for decades. It’s pretty beaten up. It has many beauty marks, missing pieces, and lots of character. We found it in a Facebook ad, took a test drive, had a mechanic check it out, and then, we kind-of named it.

moose

The picture we have here really shows Moose in his best light. Moose doesn’t have any computers (our MINI for example had 40), which means it is easy to fix. Moose is Japanese (a 1990 Mitsubishi Montero). In Costa Rica, Japanese cars/trucks are the best to own because the parts are easy to get, reasonably cheap, and the mechanics all know how to fix them. We expect to have to feed Moose many parts over time (in contrast, Jeep parts – and we love Jeeps – are crazy expensive). Moose was $3000. That’s actually less than what we budgeted for periodic rental cars, even when you add in needed repairs. And Moose comes with a mechanic, sort of. The person coordinating the purchase for the SUV is a fun Austrian mechanic named Tomas.

So, we are taking a plunge, and a risk, and buying Moose today. We have papers to transfer. In Costa Rica, that involves a lawyer. Then, Moose gets to go to the doctor and have a few things fixed. He probably needs a good bath after that as well. He’ll be our surf car. Once we have him back from the doc, add a few surf stickers, a surfboard rack, and some boards. Then, we’ll look like real surfers. We just need to get our skills on par with the look!

Pura Vida!

A Rose By Any Other Name…

…can’t seem to be found in Costa Rica. At least, that’s what I am learning down here. So far, it is really the only thing that I can’t seem to find or for which I can’t seem to find a good alternative. It’s unexpected. I didn’t even think about it during our planning for our new adventure. I’m at a loss.

Why is it so important? Well, I’ve been buying them for a very long time.

When Deb and I met in grad school and fell in love, I knew immediately that I wanted to spend my life with her. I wanted to propose to her but I had so little money. I had already burned through savings and cash in the first year, adding a ton of debt on top of it. I had actually planned to leave grad school for a great job in Seattle…until I met Deb.

We became very close friends first. We spent all of our time working together on class projects (and we still work incredibly well together). Pretty soon we were deeply in love. After 7 weeks I really wanted to ask her to marry me.

I couldn’t really afford a ring. So, I proposed to her with a single red rose and a promise. A promise that I would always get her a rose, every week, for as long as we lived. I’ve kept that promise for 19 years now. Every week, I would buy her a single red rose and put it in a vase for her. Until now.

I knew all of the stores around us in Seattle. I knew where they sold red roses, but not single red roses. I knew which ones reliably carried single long-stemmed red roses. I knew where the nicest ones were. And occasionally when one of them wasn’t open or when I couldn’t make it there, I had backup stores I could go to where I’d have to settle or a shorter red rose. I took for granted the fact that I could find a single red rose almost anywhere in Seattle and beyond.

Several years ago, I even designed a tribal rose tattoo and the folks at Slave to the Needle kindly put it on my back. The top just hits the back of my neck so that it shows even if I wear a shirt and tie. I want people to see it.

So now, you see my dilemma. For now, I can resort to digital roses. They are really just a shadow of my intent. But, while I continue to look for options, they will have to suffice.

The word for “rose” exists in Spanish (“rosa”) so I hold out hope that in my exploration I will find one here someday. The journey should be half the adventure but this one gnaws at me. Like everything else we are doing, I’ll embrace change and adapt. At least, she has the opportunity out in the sun all day to see my rose tattoo 🙂

Vacation

We are now two weeks into our new adventure. A few days ago, one of our young adults said something about us still being on “vacation” – i.e., before we dig deep into unschooling. It was a really interesting comment in general about what we are doing and it made me think about what is “vacation” really.

Of course there is the dictionary definition, which leaves me a bit unsatisfied. We are indeed taking time away from home, school and business…but that’s only the tip of a very big iceberg. I know everyone has a different perspective on vacation, but for me, I’ve always thought about it not as what you are doing but rather what the outcome is. In my case, the outcome in vacationing I seek is rejuvenation, recharge, and perspective.

I’ve been on many trips, or “vacations”, to see relatives, to go to a wedding, etc. that were not any of those things. I’ve also been on business trips (usually overseas) in which I found all of the elements I look for. Even most date nights feel like a vacation to me in this sense. So then, am I on vacation now?

I find myself moving between vacation and non-vacation (“unvacation”) day to day, even though I’m in an incredible tropical vacation spot.

This last week has seen a lot of set up – things we needed to do both mundane and effort-intensive. We got all of our technology set up, including local cell phones and SIMs for everyone tied to their Windows IDs (at least in 3 cases), VPN service, and a new Android tablet for some freelance work Deb and I are doing. We also got our cooking staples and some other basic things before we gave up our rental car (and access to bigger super markets, or “super compros” – AKA “gringo stores”).

On the big effort front, we took a trip to San Jose, the capital, to go through the process of applying for our “rentista” residency visa. It was a long process involving first finding a place to keep the dogs (a wonderful place named Isabel’s Friends), a 5 hour drive to get there, getting photos and fingerprints for all of us and then spending some time with lawyers and forms. Fortunately, our lawyer made it as painless as possible. We ended it all with one of the most harrowing drives we’ve ever had on the way back at night with roadway construction, aggressive truck drivers, and a massive tropical downpour. Oh, and a little fog to boot.

Interspersed with all of the necessary activities on a daily basis are activities that are much more “vacation” for me. These are things like the incredibly fun karaoke Halloween we spent at our favorite place, Maxwell’s. It was very different than our typical Halloween where we prep our house for several months. We had to come up with some costumes, but Deb brilliantly came up with us going as Seattle Sounders.

halloween costa rica

Another great activity was boogie boarding at Playa Grande, one of the top surfing spots in Costa Rica – and the world for that matter. Vie and Aidan loved it. Aidan declares he’s ready for surfing now!

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After two weeks of settling in, it does feel a bit more like home. At the same time, we are clearly not “home.” We are starting to develop some routines and we hope to ramp this next week as we do a “warm up” with Vie and Aidan for unschooling. And with a freelance project, I’ll definitely dip back into my tech focus.

None of this detracts from the daily “vacation” activities. I personally feel rejuvenated almost every day. Every day especially brings rich opportunities for new perspectives. Stress is nearly non-existent where we are as near as we can tell, for example. Even simple activities like grocery shopping both make me appreciate what we had in Seattle and also how fun it is to be living somewhere new and different. I feel very creative and we haven’t even started unschooling yet. I even “just relax”, something that is (has been) pretty unusual for me.

This “between” state is a new experience for me. It certainly emphasizes “working to live” vs. “living to work” – something Deb and I very much believe in. I think it needs its own name. If I take a long view though, I’m sure I’ll find that the whole adventure gives me a “vacation” outcome. Getting there will be priceless in so many ways.

Stuff

We had our great estate sale this weekend where we sold most of our “stuff”. It was certainly the biggest step in uprooting in preparation for our new adventure – one we had been preparing for for a few months. We sold all of our furniture and about three quarters of everything we owned. It was as big of an endeavor as it was an enlightening experience.

The process started with building a storage area within our garage to store the stuff we wanted to keep. It was mostly our decorations for our big Halloween party along with Seattle type gear and clothes, a few mattresses, TV, etc.

Everything else included almost all the furniture, 97 boxes of densely packed stuff, and a bunch of clothes. We originally didn’t expect to sell everything, but then we learned that to rent the house, we’d have a better chance if it was unfurnished. So we took the leap and sold all of our stuff – with some help from Jon and his great crew at Ballard Estate Services. It certainly reduced our complexity.

Packing the first few boxes was hard, but it got a lot easier as it went. I saw a lot of stuff I had not seen in years (in some cases decades). Things like my thousand or so D&D miniatures from the 70s. Or two rare Czechoslovakian egg-shaped liqueur sets from my grandmother that I have never used. Many things brought back memories of course, but I didn’t feel wed to any of this “stuff”. We had downsized and gotten rid of stuff before in moves and spring cleaning, but never like this. My rule became “if I hadn’t seen or used it in years, it wasn’t really anything I needed.”

That rule extended to digital “stuff” too. I tend to be a digital pack rat, saving everything for decades across all forms of ancient media like optical drive discs and zip drive discs. That all went. All my graduate design projects and papers, including my thesis project. While I had kept the media readers too, I couldn’t connect them to modern computers so they all just sat in a box waiting for the day when I would have so much free time that I could go back and transfer all that stuff to modern media. That day never came, fortunately, and so it all went as well.

Surprisingly, Deb and the kids did well with this divesting activity too. As a family we tend to favor experiences over things, I think, which is a good thing given what we are doing.

The estate sale itself was an odd thing even though we only saw the beginning and end. The beginning as in people lining up at 7:30 in the morning, signing a list to get in first when it opened at 9:00. The end as in the people hanging around after the sale was over, still rooting around the leftovers. We found that there is a very unique subculture of people who thrive on estate sales. Who knew? In the end, most things sold – including our entire pantry of food, much of it partially consumed! Some, surprisingly, did not. I’m sure they will all end up in other people’s fine collections of stuff.

What I realized through this effort is that my stuff doesn’t define me. It may give a clue about who I am, but these clues may be just as misleading (like the liqueur sets) as they are accurate. The stories I tell people aren’t usually about my stuff; they are about people we’ve met, or things we’ve done, or places we’ve gone.

It’s all just stuff. At least, that’s how I’ve come to think of it. I know it’s different for different folks. But, if I focus too much on collecting this stuff, I’ll be dwelling in the past. It will tie me down and keep me from doing something really new and adventurous.

We are taking (relatively) few things with us to Costa Rica. Everything really needs to earn its place. When we come back, I expect we’ll come back with some incredible life experiences and stories and new friends. Maybe we’ll get more “stuff” 🙂 .

Postscript

The results are in. We had about 400 people come through over 3 days. The total from our estate sale is $4886.

It was a bit shocking to see that the sum total of most of our stuff is so low. In fairness, many of the pricier/specialty items (like those liqueur sets) didn’t sell. That isn’t surprising since it’s unlikely that the “right” collector for something like that would happen to appear at our particular estate sale. So, we can expect maybe $1000-$2000 more.

One of the more interesting tidbits from the estate sale folks is that people evidently were willing to pay more for partially consumed food (e.g., half a box of pasta) than a CD or DVD.

Things aren’t ever as valuable as we believe them to be (unless, I suppose, you carefully put each thing on eBay and find your perfect buyer somewhere in the digiverse but who has time for that?). I’m glad we are focused on experiences. The value of (most of) the contents of our house – $4800. The value of the experience of living in a foreign country for a year with our kids at this time in their lives – priceless.